Throughout my career, I've had the privilege of assisting numerous families in achieving peaceful and restful sleep routines within their homes. It's been evident that many mothers, and some fathers – but let's be honest here, primarily mothers - have harboured apprehensions about embarking sleep training programs. The thought of potential tears and the idea of adjustments to current sleep patterns required often loomed large and felt overwhelming.
However, amidst these feelings, one common feeling persisted: an unwavering determination among all parents to makes positive changes, to establish functional sleep patterns within their homes. The unsustainable interruptions of waking up 3-5 times a night, coupled with the demands of work the next day or just parenting alone, alongside witnessing their children's fatigue from disrupted sleep, had become unsustainable.
I Have Seen Scepticism and Anxiety about Sleep Training
I have supported many mums who were pretty sceptical about sleep training. They thought it was just about letting the baby cry endlessly until they passed out from exhaustion but they decided to give it a shot anyway. I taught them that yes, while your baby may cry, sleep training is not cry it out. There are other factors to look at, that is why I am hired, to help parents find the root cause of the constant night waking’s and to help them ensure their baby does not wake all these unnecessary times.
And guess what? Something magical happened – their whole outlook changed. Turns out, sleep training isn't just about tears and stress they said; it goes way deeper than that.
Once they dove into the program with me, sure, yes, those first few days were tough. I mean, anything new is bound to be a challenge, right? But pretty soon, they started noticing some real positive changes – both in their little one and in themselves. Naps got better – more consistent and longer, and bedtime became a whole lot easier with fewer night time wake-ups. Mums started to believe this sleep training is actually going to work!
Many mums unknowingly transfer their anxiety to their baby, which can disrupt sleep. Sometimes, when Dad takes the lead, babies settle down more easily and sleep better. So, I have learned from very early on how to coach and support Mum’s through this, coach them to understand part of sleep training is also about helping them relax about the situation, letting go of that anxiety.
By the end of the second week, I have received messages, "What's this sorcery? Where did my wide-awake baby go? I can't believe this is actually working, I never thought this would ever happen!"
And you know what else? Dads were happier too. Usually, they end up getting kicked out to the spare room while mum and baby take over the parental bed. But with the sleep training starting to take effect, dads got to be part of the bedtime routine and naptime too and they could return to their bed with their partner. Because now, baby was happy with either parent putting them down for a nap or at bedtime. It was like a breath of fresh air and mums started to feel the pressure lift that it was NOT all on them!
My Daily Support Is Needed and Appreciated
In my one-on-one programs, parents are encouraged to text me as much as they need. They can ask questions, share updates, and seek guidance whenever something doesn't quite go as planned. They really appreciate having consistent support they can rely on, knowing that I'm there to help them navigate any bumps in the road. I have always had great feedback on the support they receive from me and often I hear them say, don’t leave Rach, I like having you in my back pocket to text!
I Need Help Too!
Sometimes, I have to refer parents to other professionals for additional support. And I will follow up to see how those meetings went because we need to work as a team!
In some family situations, the complexities run deep, requiring additional resources to ensure parents achieve their sleep goals. I collaborate with seasoned, experienced sleep consultants who share my philosophy on sleep training. Additionally, I work with a range of professionals including chiropractors, tongue tie specialists, breastfeeding consultants, behaviour experts, potty training consultants, nutritionists, and GPs to name just a few.
This diverse network ensures that I can provide you with the best support, care and information to help you reach your family's sleep goals. As they say, it takes a village – and in my case, it's more like a whole city!
It's important to realise that even if you're on your second, third, or even fourth baby, it doesn't automatically mean you've got this parenting lark all figured out or that you're a pro at it. Every baby, child, and parent's journey is unique, and every sleep challenge presents its own set of variations. I have learned that often mums feel like they are failing because they just can’t quite seem to nail their child’s sleep even though their 1st was so much easier.
Consistency Counts
I've witnessed first-hand the consequences of parental inconsistency – confused children crying more and disheartened parents seeing no progress. However, this isn't to say you can't have some flexibility. I often recommend following the 80/20 rule: stick to the plan 80% of the time, but allow yourself a 20% margin to deviate and unwind. It won't cause all your hard work to crumble and this gives parents that feeling of calm and that they don’t have to stick to a rigid schedule.
To Conclude…
Mums found sleep training hard but it was well worth it! I've seen countless parents exhausted and at their wits' end due to lack of sleep. But despite it all, they're determined to push through because they know something needs to change for the better health of their child and the whole family.
Mum’s and dad’s need encouragement to believe their baby can sleep, believe it is possible and to understand they are not alone! Family dynamics are all different and need to be addressed as such and always, always following parenting style.
I love what I do, I believe I am good at it…the feedback and reviews support that and I will continue to provide my knowledge and expertise and support parents on their quest for sleep for many more years to come!
If any of this resonates with you and you would like to enquire about sleep support please get in touch! Let’s have a chat about what is going on and work out what the best solution is going forward and how I can help you best! Book your free sleep assessment call here! I can’t wait to chat with you!
Peaceful nights to you all,
Rachael,
Your Paediatric Sleep
xo